Pre-emminent magus H. Rune has recently been made a saint, to show his elligablility for this post here are a selection of quotations from his works:
In order to be at one with the Static Cosmos, one must achieve a state of supreme stillness. This state is known as Apathy. The word APATHY derives from the Atlantean. A-PATH-Y. A meaning A. PATH meaning PATH. And Y being an abbreviation of WHY. Quite literally A PATH TO THE MEANING WHY.
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Hugo Rune had identified the phenomena of kipple as early as the turn of the century;
Congregatorial instinct of inanimate objects: Metal coat-hangers passioatly entwined in the cupboard under the stairs. Supermatket trollies forming vast underwater legions beneath canal bridges. Little yellow-handled screwdrivers huddled in small groups behind books on the top shelf. Spare fuses, down the back of the armchair. What are they up to then? It is my belief, now universally accepted, that inanimate objects possess a rudimentary inteligence. They seek the fellowship of thier own kind. But not neccessarily where man chooses. The inanimate ovject is a social animal and employing man whereever possible, he sets out to some prearanged rendezvous where he can buddy up with his chums and chew the fat about the good old days.
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Setting out to prove his theory, Rune built up comprehensive lists of the favourite nesting places of 'lost' household object. Each week he would scour his home from room to room seeking out the wayward blighters and plotting thier new habitations. It was his intention to compile a handbook which whould enable the layman to trace without difficulty any mislaid item. With a Nobel Prize staring him in the face he was forced to abandon the project. All of his biros had gone missing and he could not remember where he had put his notes.
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Quotes from Hugo Runes master work - "The Book of Ultimate Truths" appear without kind permission of the Church of Runeology, 7 Mafeking Ave, Brentford.