Warehouse 23

The secret of mining Moon-Cheese. This has been supressed because
excessive amounts of cheese have been shown to stimulate mental
activity. If Cheese was readily available then it would plumet in
price - at which point the cheese consumption of the nations students
would rise dramatically, resulting in students with mental activity -
Something the government can't afford.

Somewhere, in the deepest recesses of wharehouse 23, is the
REAL wharehouse 23. The outside structure and inner contents
are all a farce meant to veil the REAL wharehouse 23 and its
contents.

A small 5.25" disk containing the entirety of the Internet, as well as a copy of DOOMv0.5

A large, yellow, rectangular, steel box recovered from the NASA Shuttle Columbia after a flight in 1993
It was found attached to the nose landing wheel, and is believed to be a wheel clamp. Strangely it has never been seen, apart from NASA and Southampton University physics graduates.
The Fortean Times (issue 3 volume 2) did a small story on it, and claimed it to have been left by aliens.

6 foot tall, 3 foot wide and shaped like a casket. I've never got close enough to get a good look at it, but the caretaker reckons it to be the perfectly cryogenically frozen body of Kate Moss, made when she started her first year here many years ago

A glass of water with a fork in it. Water is kept dehydrated
for storage. The fork is not rusty. (yet)

The Soviet's first dog in space came back to earth
super-intelligent, emigrated to New York in 1968 and
now controls 2/3 of the free world's dog biscuit
manufacturing capacity. Warehouse 23 contains a
rocket-powered Oscar Weinermobile that the reclusive
Superdog intended to use as an escape pod before
blowing up planet Earth. The Evil Mongrel is now held
in the basement of the NSA on heavy sedation.

The REAL Necronomicon.....'nuff said

Walt Disney's LIVING brain in a jar. Hooked
up to a mainframe computer to interpret the signals.

Who knows WHAT the use it for!!!

A memo from Rupert Murdoch to Chris Carter
(X-Files creator) concerning the content
of a certain TV series...

A small ceramic mongoose, with a box around it's neck
and a scroll in it's mouth. The box contains the whole
of the pentaverse, and the scroll explains how this box
containing the whole of the pentaverse can be located
inside your average, innocent-looking Warehouse. The
mongoose also has the words "Don't Panic" tattooed on
it's forehead, though speculation that the mongoose
was once property of the Illuminatus Douglas Adams
remains to be verified fnord.

This item is an electronic id card of great antiquity.
The holoimage on it shows a many eyed green blob. The name
is JHVH and job description says "Planet cleaner". Scientists
believe that this alien entity is what the christians call god
in fact, many of his actions can be explained when seen with
the mindeset of a cleaner.

this innocuous name hides the Anti-Goddess Missile (with
the ORIGINAL HOT DOG BUN tipped warhead) that they were
planning to use against HER when she returns to turn us all
into +Kipple (known commonly as Black kipple, SupaKipple etc)
....But I pope kola have snuck in and stolen the ignition switch.

A canister full of magic bullets, retrieved from a
hole buried in a grassy knoll, in Dallas, TX.

The core of the original, one and only, Golden Apple. (sans wyrm)

The last 5 living Apes of the great 23 Apes, that once
were set out to found mankind. Five are just enough to
end what 23 once started.