How to spot...


goth: 1. One of an ancient Teutonic race; 2. a barbarian; 3. one defective in taste. (That's what the dictionary, honestly, says).

Clothes: Black of course.

Hair: Also black. Occasionally red or purple. Often long and/or backcombed and/or crimped.

Attitude: Depressed. (or more often normal but trying really hard to be depressed)

Music: Goth- Sisters of Mercy (NOT '92 version, well maybe), Cure, (Fields of the) Nephilim, Inkkubus Sukkubus.

Film & TV: The Crow, Interview with the Vampire, Hammer Horror, The Rocky Horror Show, The Crow, The Addams Family (Mmmm.. Wednesday), The Crow.

Habbitat: Goth clubs. Goth gigs at goth clubs. Grave-yards.

Food & Drink: Cider and Black, Red Wine, Blood; Anything red, really.

Habbits: Whining and posing.

Dance style: "Screwing-in-a-lightbulb", "I've lost my contact lenses", strutting, writhing, not-being-able-to-but-trying-anyway.

Taste in men/women: Goth, that's more goth than them. Skinny. Pale. Cadaverous. Wears black. Vampires. Deviants in general.

Accessories: LOTS. Silver bracelets/rings/earings/nose studs. Fangs. Hairspray, Rubber bats and spiders.

Often says: "'92 version isn't as good", "A found this in Oxfam/Camden Market", "He/She's so pretentious" - indicating another goth.

Never says: "Black's not my colour", "I prefer the '92 version, actually", "This will put colour in your cheeks..."