All right whelks whelks whelks! C'mon in whelk lovers! Here at the Mollusc Masher we're slashing whelks in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of whelks! This is a whelk blow out! We got white whelks, black whelks, Spanish whelks, yellow whelks, we got hot whelks, cold whelks, wet whelks, we got smelly whelks, hairy whelks, bloody whelks, snapping whelks! We got silk whelks, velvet whelks, nalgahyde whelks, we even got horse whelks, dog whelks, chicken whelks! C'mon you want whelks?, C'mon in whelks lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it, c'mon in whelks lovers!

Attention whelk shoppers! Take advantage of our penny whelk sale! If you buy one whelk at the regular price, you get another whelk of equal or lesser value for only a penny! try and beat whelks for a penny! If you can find cheaper whelks anywhere, eaaaaaaaat it!