Fear and Loathing in the Millenium Dome

A Journey to the Heart of the Millenium Dream

Chapter 2 - The Assignment

"It all began exactly twenty-four hours ago. More-or-less. We were sitting outside the pub waiting for it to open. A shriek of some godless electronic evil. I look at my phone - the caller ID says PODFUCKER.

"Shit!", I exclaim, "it's Dr. fucking-Fenderson.

"Answer it, you fool, it might be a job. You need the money.

"So, Marvin, Hi! How's the Lemur business?"

"Shut the fuck up", the GSM makes his voice inhuman, a machine.. Alright, more inhuman.

I Listen. I nod.

"I understand. Yes."

I hang up. I hurl that evil fucking phone in front of a safeways truck driven by a scotsman with wild but kind eyes. The phone is crushed.

"So what did that whore hopping, pavlova scoffing fuckhead want?", inquires TN23.

"He has heard..."

"From his sources?"

"Right, from his sources, he has heard that the Millenium Dome is going to blown up by the government."


"They plan to get rid of the embarrassment and frame the EU as an excuse for getting us out of Europe!"

"An excellent plan! Well done Tony B.! What's the problem?"

"No problem, but he wants an article on the dome for totl.net - a before view if you will."

"I will. But as your consultant I advise you to buy two ounces of cannabis, whatever mescaline is available, six live whelks, and two first class day return tickets to London.


"It is very probable that you will require an I.T. consultant before this has run it's course!"

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©2001 totl.net. This article should be blamed on Chris but he did have help from Steve and suggestions from everybody. Notice for stupid people: not everything in this article is one hundred percent true. Bits of it might be.