Cocoa Team

  • Boil the kettle (you have a kettle, don't you?)
  • Put about a quarter of the cocoa in your heat proof jug
  • Mix in some boiling water
  • Keep adding cocoa water and sugar while stirring.

Variation: Don't add the sugar, although the results will be VERY bitter and probably kill you even faster than the standard mix.

Variation: Nick suggests that you put all the cocoa in the jug at once, and add boiling water little by little, stirring constantly to achieve a smooth (if rather stiff in the early stages) paste. On the other hand, Nick thinks that the paste smells like Bovril, so what would he know?

At this point the mixture should look like a horrible lumpy mess. Don't worry, it will probably be fine.

Keep mixing and adding hot water until it's smoooooth (ish)

So now it looks right. It's all smooth and warm and smells of chocolate promise.

But are you sure?

How do you know it's right?

There is only one way to be certain...

...and that's to ask Steve.

You don't have Steve? Well make do with someone else, the basic requirements for this task is someone who:

  • Wears mirrorshades
  • Considers themselves to be EXTREME!! (with both exclamation marks)
  • Has no regard for personal safety
  • Is willing to drink potentially lethal concoctions.

Basically, anyone who bought into Pepsi Max advertising.

If your test subject suffers horrible writhing bowel-wrenching death then it's probably best to throw away this batch and try again.

If, however, they survive the horrible bowel-wrenching writhing then it's time to see how the ice cream team are getting on.

Ice Cream Team - - - - - Continue

(K) Kippleright 2000, Temple ov thee Lemur